Ante Up

"Would you pass the dip Son?"

"I'm I expected to call you Dad after you kicked me out of the house?" Lucifer scoffed, sliding the dip across the felt table.

"Lucifer, you're always blaming others." Grabbing a potato chip and dipping it, the older Being popped it into His mouth and sighed. "This is delicious- would you like some Son?"

"No thanks, Dad. Now are you done pissing around? I'd like to finish my hand this decade while my bankroll is still good. The action is on you."

"You were never the patient one, very well." He wiped His salty fingers on His 'Yeh Know Yer A Redneck When' pajama pants. "I'll see your ACLU with BYU and raise you my finest radio show host." God flipped two chips into the overgrown pile.

"You just want Doctor Phil out of my pocket."

"Maybe…"

"Rush Limbaugh? You're tempting me on purpose. Who would ever know you had it in you?" The devil slipped the poker chip of the pompous TV show host face up on top of the stack. "Accept for me, of course. I raise you Brittany Spears."

The Almighty glanced down at his cards, "I'll risk Snoop Dog for Brittany. That girl needs a miracle." He nodded to himself, "The Kindergarten teachers of Maryland."

"The subs of Brooklyn," Lucifer tugged on his green visor.

"Mother Teresa."

"2Pac."

"Hilary Clinton."

"Bill Clinton."

"Leev Maxim."

"Barack O- Wait," the devil reframed from throwing another chip into the middle, "who is Maxim?"

"A war like the one between Russia and Georgia can't stop on its own." God smiled proudly, "He was created for that very propose."

Lucifer's mischievous grin widened, "You'd jeopardize him?"

"Who says he is in jeopardy?" He gave an All-Knowing smile when His rolled his eyes. "Besides- I want jurisdiction over that serial killer of yours."

"Hold on, I'm not laying her down-"

"Don't you try to cheat me now, Lucifer," He chided, "Any one less would be insulting to my bet."

"Fine," the devil bristled, tossing a chip to the middle of the table, "Alexis B. Johnson it is. I raise you the KKK."

"I meet your raise with the Red Cross- Oh!" God glanced at the figure floating towards their table in No-Man's-Land, "Why Isabella, right on time, as usual."

The pretty angel blushed and gave a little, "Yes, My Lord."

"Good thing too, I want a drink." The Father glanced back at His son, "What would you like?"

"Give me a beer." He ordered the angel.

"Now Lucifer, there is no need to be rude. Would you give him his," God scrunched up His nose, "beer? And I think I'll have a Red Bull."

Isabella looked confused, "Why an energy drink, My Lord?"

Lucifer rolled his eyes, "Duh, Red Bull gives you wings," he said sarcastically.

"Son, would you stop?" He looked to the girl who seemed even more confused, "Just fix those drinks for us, my child." Once she was digging into the never ending cooler, He peered back at His cards. "Now where were we? Oh yes- I raise you Valentine's Day!"

"I'll chance Christmas."

"Christmas?" Isabella butted in, as she set the drinks on the poker table, "but that one is The Son's day!"

"God, your new help is seriously lacking. Did you forget to add common sense to this one? Why didn't I just bring Marlin Monroe? She never gives me a headache." He turned to Isabella, "Christmas has always been mine. My dear older brother wasn't even born on the damned day."

"Thank you, Isabella, "God hastily interrupted, "I'll send for you if you are needed." As soon as she disappeared, He glared at His son who was casually leaning back in his chair. "I should have given you more manners."

A cheeky grin graced the devil's face,

"All your first-class traits had to go some where. It's a shame my bro was left with useless things like manners."

"You are not funny."

"You're right, I'm serious. Now let us finish this. I bet the Pope and call."

"Lucifer, Lucifer," God shock His head in mock sadness, pulling out a chip with the Pope's face on it. "You are hallucinating, the Pope is mine."

Lucifer frowned and pulled out an identical chip and raised an eyebrow,

"I think we might have a problem."


MW